Concord: Walden

“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practise resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms, and, if it proved to be mean, why then to get the whole and genuine meanness of it, and publish its meanness to the world; or if it were sublime, to know it by experience, and be able to give a true account of it in my next excursion.”

— Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)
Walden

Our first visit to this, the most famous of all kettle ponds in the world, came about rather spontaneously. We’d been meaning to drive toward Concord on Labor Day, with thoughts of taking a long, circuitous walk in the environs of Mount Misery, Minute Man Historical National Park, and Great Meadows National Refuge. Walden Pond, of course, lies right in their vicinity, and anyone who knows me well knows that I know Thoreau well. Walden was, after all, a progenitor of modern nature writing - the work which inspired me years ago to start my collection of books on nature and place-based memoir, which now spans several hundred books and two full bookcases in our living room. I have some quibbles with Thoreau’s self-described and self-absorbed relationship with his woodland home of two years (1845-1847), but I cannot deny that I relate to how much he loved the place, and how much it changed him.

Which begs the question: why have I been avoiding the place for the past two months? It was more than the summer weather, the prospect of insect bites, or the popularity of the place - none of which have prevented me from exploring elsewhere in the Bay State. No - there was another subconscious reason, one that made me laugh and say dismissively, “It’s just another lake,” whenever Jane would gently lay the suggestion upon our weekend plans. I’m still not sure what the reason was. Perhaps, fear of ruining an imagined ideal with the real thing. Fear of showing up in the morning to a throng of tourists and realizing, “it’s just another lake,” or that the woods around it are just like any other woods.

Well, Walden is not just another lake. And the woods are not just any other woods. They are intensely beautiful, almost magical in their atmosphere. Diverting from our planned route up the Concord Turnpike, we arrive shortly before sunrise and have no trouble parking in the large, mostly empty lot that will fill to capacity by breakfast time. Walking onto the main beach by Deep Cove, we have the place mostly to ourselves, with the exception of a few solo swimmers and fishermen in the distance. Mist is rising from the lake surface; a welcome sight I have not seen in nearly a year. Canada geese pass overhead in formation - not to the south yet, just headed somewhere local. From a distant bend comes the solitary, wild cry of a northern loon; it sends a shiver of joy up and down my body. Sunrise, painting the clouds like cotton candy, soon begins to peek over the tops of the pine trees. I take some distant shots with the tripod before we climb away from lake, toward Emerson’s Cliff to the west.

To really know Walden’s beauty, one has to leave the lake behind. The path which encircles the pond, carefully flattened and manicured (and constantly dotted with one-way warnings in this era of microbial fear), is no longer a place that fosters silence and solitude and introspection. The many branching woodland paths to the west, however, are. We climb up and down through the forest, along the ridgeline of Emerson’s Cliff, down to Heywood’s Meadow, and across the MBTA commuter railroad into the Adams and Wright Woods. All the while, the sidelight of the slowly rising sun streams in through the canopy, giving me beautiful, golden-pastel splashes of light - my favorite conditions for woodland photography. Jane and I ramble through the forest, trekking our way toward Fairhaven Bay on the Sudbury River.

All around us are the signs of late summer and early autumn: sweet pleasant air, clear blue skies through thinning canopy, and splashes of golden birches and orange maples hinting at the colours of the coming season. It’s taken me a few months of walking to shake my disorientation to my new surroundings. Now that my head and my heart are no longer reeling, and I’m finally paying attention, I sense that these woods are not like the Mid-Atlantic woodlands I knew intimately. The bright, smooth-white bark of silver birch is an obvious newcomer to my camera viewfinder, as are the deep, azure greens of pine and spruce, and the rich, mahogany color of the forest floor duff. My footsteps among the trees are soft and quiet, cushioned by a blanket of pine needles, in place of the crunch of fallen leaves. I find myself thinking how it really is a beautiful place to walk, breathe, and photograph. A place that I might be able to fall in love with, over time.

After a brief stop at the boathouse on the Sudbury River, Jane and I turn back through the trees, through acres of preserved pine forest, and wind our way back across the railroad bed and around the north shore of Walden Pond. By the time we return to civilization, the sun is beaming and the daytrippers are out in full force - lawn chairs, fishing poles, picnic baskets, and laughing, happy children playing with their families, everyone mask-clad in the crystal blue water. I did not expect to ever feel this way, but seeing the crowds makes me happy. Happy that someone - anyone - might enjoy this beautiful, natural place half as much as I do. For all his introversion and love of solitude, I’d like to think that if Thoreau saw his beloved pond now, nearly two centuries later, he would have to agree.

Boston: River Sunsets

Looking back through old photos in recent months, I came to realize that, despite thinking of myself primarily as a landscape and nature specialist rather than an urban or street photographer, I had become just as attached to my odd, mostly spontaneous snapshots of Baltimore City as to my more thoughtful, rigorous landscape work from around Maryland - if not more. Proximity breeds affection, I suppose. I had come to think of those streets and alleyways and public squares and green spaces as my home, to know them in all sorts of moods and moments, all kinds of weather and lighting conditions. In my mind’s eye, I’d memorized the shades of sunset that the sky would traverse from the tip of Fells Point on a long summer evening. I remembered the way the harbor smelled on the first warm day of each spring (bad). I’d developed my own favorite pace for walking the mile down from our hill to the water’s edge - a brisk stroll that invigorated the spirit while still allowing me to look around and soak in my surroundings. This was the sort of familiarity that could only come from living in a space, from being in love with it day after day, for years on end. It literally inspired poetry.

So, quite cognizant of the role that Baltimore played in my growth as a photographer (and a person), I’ve been trying to approach Boston with the same wide eyes, the same devotion, and the same heart-on-sleeve openness to all things beautiful. It is quite a beautiful city. Much like Baltimore, the neighborhoods here echo with grit and history and culture and character, all quite different from one another. The physical space of the city, and the experience of being alive in it, feels cohesive and full of heart, as if it were designed by a single master architect with an eye for aesthetics and a sentimental core. And the green spaces - they are, simply, jaw-dropping. I cannot wait to see what the rest of the year holds, and what sorts of scenes and emotions will be revealed as the seasons fall one after another.

On this, the first weekend of September and two of the last balmy evenings of summer, Jane and I visited two different points along the Charles River for sunset. On Saturday, we drove to Jane’s workplace in Cambridge and walked to the eastward lane of the Longfellow Bridge. Standing over the railing, we ate a picnic dinner (cauliflower and broccoli rabe paninis from Flour Bakery) and watched light fall on the Charles River Esplanade and the city skyline, before circling to Toscanini’s for ice cream. On Sunday, after an early dinner, we parked off the Charles River in Allston, and walked back along Soldiers Field Road to the Western Avenue bridge, where I photographed the golden hour light on the tower of Harvard’s Dunster House. Hard to believe we’d first walked past that exact spot nearly twelve years ago, and several times since. It sometimes feels like we’re entirely different people now. And at other times, it feels as though almost nothing has changed.


Massachusetts: Summer's End

Falling in love again is a slow, steady, effortful process. After you lose a piece of yourself, it takes a constant sort of energy to unravel the tangled web that you call your personhood. To hold the frayed and tattered threads up to the light and examine each of them one by one, inch by inch, carefully imagining their place in the completed tapestry. In who you’ve become, and who you’re going to be. After leaving my twenties behind in Baltimore, it feels like I’ve lost a piece of myself, and I’m still recovering from it.

It’s no fault of the place I now find myself. Boston is as lovely as a new home can be. It’s been a dry summer; from my new hospital’s oncology ward solarium, the hills to the west are dense and verdant, and endless, bluebird skies have been shining down on us all August. I’m beginning to appreciate the terroir. The earthy, green smell of the Necklace as I cross over Longwood Avenue on my brief walk to work. The ever-changing light - each sunset now falling substantially earlier than the one before. The incredible character of my new Bostonian neighbors and colleagues, virtually all of whom are masked and distanced as the pandemic stretches into another season - a deep, stoic spirit of collective pride and mutual support that could have only been engendered by decades’ memories of the New England winter. Sure enough, and lucky for me, this place feels like a place. Which is more than one can say for… certain places in this country.

And yet, when I wake up in the morning, and hear the bubbling courtyard fountain in place of East Baltimore’s ambulance sirens, helicopters, and ice cream trucks, I can’t help but feel - weird as it sounds - that a thread of me is missing. I’m taking new photographs now (beautiful ones, too) but they don’t yet strum at my heartstrings or evoke an entire life dreamt, built, and lived to completion - the way my images from eight years in Maryland do.

But I’m learning. I’m going to fall in love again. It’s going to take intentionality, and the passage of time. During the week, my new job takes me away from thoughts of the past. I throw myself willingly into the work of supporting seriously ill patients and their families - and am stunned, gratified, grateful, to discover that the full-time stuff is just as meaningful as I always hoped it would be. It makes sense - sitting or kneeling by the hospital bed is the place in my life that has changed the least. Here is one thread that remains, that I hope will become woven more tightly, intricately, and beautifully over time. And during the weekend, when there is time and space to reflect, I’m choosing to do it where I always have: outdoors, at sunrise, beside a lake, within the eternal, forgiving woods.

———

To wit, photographs from our weekend walks in August:

August 15, 2020: A early morning jaunt in the Fells, around Quarter Mile Pond and to Pickerell Point. Horrid light - a heavy bank of clouds rolls in just before sunrise. Still, I can imagine some lovely golden hours in the future from the south shore of Spot Pond, looking out toward Great Island. I use my polarizer to photograph the lily pads on Quarter Mile Pond before we quit the lakeside, visiting our local Wegman’s for the first time.

August 22, 2020: A spontaneous evening visit to the south bank of the Charles River in Allston for sunset. Lovely colors and lovely clouds. Birch trees. Boaters. Beer garden. A birthday party with rowdy children. A Canada goose with a broken wing.

August 23, 2020: A ramble, shortly after sunrise, at the Breakheart Reservation. I can tell, rather quickly, that this is going to be one of my new favorite places. We circumambulate the forest path around Silver Lake (Upper Pond), photographing the pine-clad island at its center as the morning light shifts and changes. The compositional opportunities here are endless.

August 30, 2020: Another morning walk around the Lynn Woods, along the south shore of (the less famous, non-Thoreau) Walden Pond and through the Great Woods, and to the top of Mount Gilead.